It's been awhile~~

Well here we go again!! I feel like sometimes I am a broken record saying this.  It's been exactly 4 months since I've blogged - and honestly I haven't blogged because I basically jumped ship on my weight loss journey. 

Thankfully, jumping ship didn't mean I eat house and home.  I just stopped concentrating on my freedom from this issue I have with food all together.  I got comfortable.  I lost 30 pounds and people were telling me I looked great - and I guess I just got to a place where comfort was easier than continuing on this journey. 

I have learned a few things tho along the way:

1.  I really feel free from the issue of food controlling me.  I haven't binged ate in a  long time.  And when I want to eat for the sake of eating I am making healthier choices.

2. I've missed walking.  I got into a nice routine and for some reason I just stopped.  I'm sure at the time there was a great excuse of why I needed to stop - but for the life of me I cannot remember what it was. Note to self: ask yourself BEFORE quitting if I will remember why in 30 days!!

So yesterday I weighed in in WW.  I told about 20 people the day before - because I knew I'd talk myself out of going - I was fearful of the results!! Those people I told I knew would hold me accountable and ask me if I actually went. So I went - and I was happy with the results.  Honestly it proved to me that what I said before is true - food doesn't control me as it did previously.  I did gain - but in 4 months I gained only 10lbs back of the 30 I lost.  I'm thankful I am back before I gained it all back, before the pain started to come back in my knees, hips, back (none of which have).  I went to a new meeting.  I'm not sure why, but I did.  So my new meeting time is Wednesday Mornings at 9:30am.  There was another lady who was brand new to the group yesterday - she seemed nice.  I hope she comes back next week!!

So this is my question of the day!! Why did I stop before?  I know what my end goal is, so why did comfort become my excuse.  What is stopping me from finishing this race?  I don't have an answer today - but I am hoping that I can finally figure it out.  I am in a new bible study - its called Breaking Free - by Beth Moore.  My goal with this study is to figure out what is holding me back from finishing this race!! I get started then I stop!! Why?!?!  Beth Moore spoke in a video of how captivity works that really stuck with me:

Whatever the issue is that is holding you captive is

   HARD - then gets HARDER - then gets EASIER - then its FINALLY UNDER YOUR FEET (FREEDOM).

I feel like I am in the "easier" (not easy.. easier) faze and honestly I want to get to the under my feet/FREEDOM part of this journey.  I just have to figure out what that looks like and how to get there. 

Here we go [Again]!! Onward to Freedom!!
Blessings INDEED,
Debbie

I'm Back!!!

So after last weeks post I was determined to get my butt back in gear with my eating and walking.  In the beginning of the week I tracked EVERYTHING that I put in my mouth.  By Saturday it dwindled down to tracking in my head - nothing was written down as I am supposed to.  I've come to realize that weekends are hard for me to track food in writing.  Mainly because I'm usually not the one cooking - we either go out to dinner or we go to someones house to have dinner.  So I'm not in control of what I am eating per se.  During the week I am much better - mainly because I am the one cooking and I am packing my lunches, etc.  I've got to come up with a better plan for the weekends.  I have a smartphone and have the WW app on it - I guess I just need to use it!! Hmm.. sounds like an easy solutions!! ;)

Anyway, I did amp up my walking and accomplished last weeks goal of when I would walk (see last week's post).  It feels good to have succeeded in this goal.  And I really enjoyed my walks as well. 

Ok.. so this weeks goals:

1. Walk  - Thursday Night (which I already did); Saturday, Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday.

2. Track my food - really focus on this over the weekend. 

3. Eat half portions for lunch and dinner on Saturday, Monday  and Tuesday

4. Drink my breakfast on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday

Its helping to write down my weekly goals... it gives me something to look back on and focus on accomplishing. 

I still haven't gotten back into my daily regime with alone time with God.  And I've missed it BIG TIME.  So I am also committing to doing this as well - Starting Saturday morning. 

Oh I almost forgot.. I was down 2.2lbs this week!! YEA!!!

Thanks to all who asked me how things were going last week - I cannot tell you how much I feel and appreciate the support!!

Until next week,
Blessings INDEED,
Debbie

Confession~~

It's been a rough 2 weeks - hence why I haven't written.  I've been up for 2 weeks and I can come up with a million reasons "why"- that aren't my fault.  But if I'm honest I know exactly why I'm up - and its all my fault. 

I've gone back to my old eating habits - I see it / I eat it.  Even if I don't see it / I look for it and eat it.  For the first week I kept it a secret.  Didn't tell anyone I was secretly eating house and home again.  When I went to weigh in last week I actually prayed Id have a gain week - to stop me from this madness.  Well I had an up week and what did I do for the rest of the day - EAT!! I finally that evening confessed to my accountability partner - and that did slow me down a bit.  I told Justin the next morning - he had no idea.  His immediate response was "why"?  Am I stressed, angry, happy, sad?  Unfortunately I don't discriminate my emotions so any of the above could have been the reasons and I would have loved to say "yes" to any of them - but again if I'm being honest, I was in a good place - just wanted to eat and did.  Again, after I confessed to Justin I did continue to slow down with my eating - making better choices for sure.  But still gave in to my flesh more often that I should have and hence my 2nd week of an up week.  That along with absolutely no exercise I'm not surprised.

Although they were small ups - this week hit me a little harder - and my determination to stop this madness is overwhelming. Sooo... now that I've confessed to EVERYONE I know - I'm now ready to promise myself to change immediately and go forward TODAY with strength and will to get back on the right track.  No more ups for me - at least not because of my own doing.  I'm done.

So what am I promising myself TODAY:

1. I will get back to walking my mile (if not ore) after work : Today, Saturday, Monday, &  Tuesday. I'm putting it on my calendar with a reminder - no excuses.

2. I will track ALL my food again - starting today.

3. I will drink more water every day (3 of my bottles at my desk at work) and at least 2 more when I get home.

4.  I will use the tools I learned with the Lords Table and when I'm tempted to go into the kitchen to eat when I'm not hungry - I will open my bible, read a book, turn off the TV, go for a walk. Anything to walk away from this trigger.

5. I will get back in the Word on a daily basis.  I realized that since Ive been done with the Lords Table study Ive completely lacked on this... I will do this EVERY morning again.  

For those of you who are reading this - I'm asking you a favor - ask me how I'm doing with these promises I am making for this week.  I will be honest with you - I promise.  Which will only make me think twice before giving in to my temptation to eat house and home. 

Its a new day, a new week - and I am thankful for this new beginning.  Here we go!! Prayers welcomed!!

Blessed INDEED,
Debbie

Surprise Surprise~~

Very exciting day today... That 30lb mark has been hit!! I am quite surprised to say the least as I have not really been doing much with the program- but apparently making wise choices is becoming easier every day.  I truly feel set free of this bondage I had with food.  I still have my days - I am no way near perfect - BUT wise choices have become my normal way of eating - and these numbers are showing just that. 

Its been a crazy two weeks (hence why I didn't weigh in or write last week).  I'm just about finished with the Lords Table 60 day program and the Women's Bible Study I lead ended last night. Amongst all the other things my hands are involved in lets just say my last two weeks have been crazy - but fun and filled with blessings all the same.  Like I said, I haven't really been following WW program - haven't been tracking, haven't walked as much as I'd liked to. Every meeting I've gone to there has been food - and more food - and more food.  Last night we had a potluck to end our Bible Study - and I ate freely.  So to say I was surprised to see a minus 2lbs today is an understatement.

I'm thankful I'm learning the tools to make wise decisions.  I'm thankful for The Lords Table for setting me free.   I still have a ways to go for a healthy weight - but I am thankful for today's blessing. 

I will start tracking again - TODAY.  I will start walking more - TODAY.  I will continue to seek God for his convictions to do what I need to do to continue  on this journey - and Glorify Him every step of the way. 

Until next time,
Blessings INDEED,
Debbie

Down 1.2 - Totaling 18.2

I'm pretty excited for this weeks loss.  I can honestly say I haven't put my best foot forward in following the program - although I realize making better decisions regarding food is coming easier. I'm finding my "need" for comfort in food is fewer and fewer every week.  I'm truly starting to feel the freedom of this bondage of overeating or eating for wrong reasons.

Although this week Ive done better than the last two weeks with the program and I'm back with The Lords Table study DAILY - I realize I have maybe put in 70% of my efforts.  So as I reflect on this past week I'm seeking to see what worked.  What were those good decisions made that I can do again in the future.

1. I walked - more so in the beginning of this week than the later - but I walked 2 or 3 days in the last 7 days - for about 20 minutes (i.e., 1 mile).  This I did with the intent on getting in "some" exercise.  I'm slowly getting back into this without pushing too hard - I'm trying very hard to not re-injure my knee or foot.

2. I've stopped myself on a few occasions when Ive been alone and bored from going into the kitchen.  How you may ask?  Well 1st I turned off my TV (this seems to be my trigger), 2nd I prayed - asked GOD to take this temptation away, and 3rd I sought GOD's word.  I can say that this worked for me at least 4 times in the last week.

3. I started drinking decaffinated green tea at night.  I'm not sure if this is related at all, a few things Ive read indicate it enhances weight loss - not sure if this is true or not, but I'll keep doing it and as long as I am losing weight - I'll give it some credit as well.

4.  My accountability partners - Kimberly and Melissa.  They asked me regularly how I'm doing and if Ive gotten my exercise in.  We talk daily about our struggles with food and life and really support each other thru this journey.  I remain honest with them at all times and I am sure it has stopped me from going to the kitchen when I'm not hungry because I don't want to have to confess it afterwards.  God sure gave me some amazing women to keep me accountable. 

5. Better decisions of what I'm eating.  The other day I got a smaller plate (instead of the regular size plate) and put my dinner on that.  The plate looked full and I ate it.  I didn't feel cheated - its totally all in my head apparently. I did this a few times this week - and will probably do it more this week.

I'm sure there is more - but this is all I can think of at this point.  This weeks challenge I gave my bible study group of ladies and I'm doing myself is to be joyful in EVERYTHING I do.  In regards to my eating - I'm going to slow down while I eat.  Be thankful for every bite - savor the tastes - and glorify HIM for providing it to me.  Every Bite!! That's my challenge.

I challenge you as well - to be joyful - in EVERYTHING you do.  Even the dishes we clean - lets be joyful we have those dishes to clean.

At this very moment I am joyful for the ability to write from my heart.  I am joyful for you who are reading this.

Until next week,
Blessings INDEED~~
Debbie

Lost what I gained last week - down 0.4lbs

Well this week I lost what I gained last week.  I'm thankful for this.  It's been a strange week for me.  Lots of "stuff" going on that has nothing to do with this journey.  But its kept me occupied on everything but getting back on the program.  I realized the other "stuff" is not my "stuff" but I'm caring it like it is.  Anything to keep me not focused on my journey and get back on the program. This week is short and sweet -

       ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!!  No more excuses for me.  I must stay focused on what God has planned for me - and that is to glorify Him through his Temple (my body).  Being busy - regardless of what Im busing doing - is not an excuse to not be focused on what I'm eating (points with WW) and doing my daily study (The Lords Table).  I WILL walk more this week - at least 3-4 times for 20 minutes.

Ok.. that is all.. my challenges are set.  Hope you all have an amazing week ahead of you!!

Until then...Blessings INDEED,
Debbie 

Had my first UP week!!

This past week was my first "up" week - although not by much - only 0.4lbs.  That's less than a half pound -  and for the past few weeks Ive had- I'll take it!! I realize it could have been worse - MUCH WORSE!! I've completely gone off the program - been watchful and all, and obviously made some good decisions - but haven't tracked food or been consistent with The Lords Table study either.

On Saturday morning I woke up discouraged.  My knee flared up again.  Hasn't flaired up since I first started losing weight.  So it was discouraging because I have continued to lose weight and I was hopeful the flair ups were due to my [over]weight - but now I realize there could be something else wrong.  I'm making a doctors appointment today. 

As I was in the midst of this discouragement I realized that I was totally struggling with a few things:

 (1) With getting back on the program.  I know I need to - but actually doing it is a struggle. My determination will overcome this struggle - I am confident of this.  I wont allow this to be the end of it for me.  I truly want to be free of this ongoing struggle Ive had for years.

 (2) Getting back motivated in my study with The Lords Table or even consistently being in the Word every day.  I'm finding myself "allowing" myself to go back to the kitchen - to eat more food - even when I'm not hungry.  I realize as I'm writing that my focus is returning back to me and off of God.  "I" don't want to get back on the program; "I" don't want to do the study; "I" don't have time; "I" want to eat, etc. etc. etc. I have to remember that my goal is to glorify God in my eating and to break free from the sin of gluttony [lack of self-disciple with food]. And finally,

(3) I have an emotional pain with this commitment to not overeat. This is interesting to me.  My stomach has changed physically with not eating as much - and at first that was painful - the growling, etc.  But now that its used to it it no longer has that pain per se.  But my emotional pain is something different - something deeper I think. Emotionally I miss eating as I wish.  Scripture says in order to cease from sin there will be some suffering (1Peter 4:1-2). That with this suffering  the will of God will set me free from these habitual desires.  My hope lies in this.  My struggles/suffering are nothing compared to what Jesus endured for us on the cross.  Today I pick up my own cross - struggles, accomplishments, and HOPE to accomplish HIS will. 

Rejoice - I say it again REJOICE!!
Debbie

Life Changing Week for me...

I can say this week was one of those life changing weeks that I will forever remember.  As most of you know my father passed away last Thursday (soon after I posted last weeks post).  It was sudden because he wasn't sick per se - but not totally unexpected due to his unhealthy lifestyle. I'm thankful he is no longer in pain - physically or mentally.  This gives me the ability to say good-by with a peaceful heart. 

I think the most interesting part about this week is that I didn't turn to food. I admit I didn't track my food - nor did I really pay attention to what I was eating.  I haven't done my study either in a few days.   BUT.. what I didn't do was go on an eating binge. I did eat a few bags of chips here and there - but that was really the extent of "over-eating" or eating not because I was hungry but to fill in a void of sadness. This is pretty huge for me.  I actually had no desire to turn to food. I'm sure some of this is because my dad was so unhealthy and battled his own desires with food as well.  His heart stopped because it couldn't handle his weight I'm sure.  Not to sound insensitive at all, but it was confirmation for me to continue on this journey.  I realize that I was heading down this road myself with how I treated my body with food. 

All that being said, I was fully expecting to gain a pound or two because I was completely off the program. Once again I was surprised when she said I lost 1.8lbs this week - totaling 27 lbs. 

So I decided something just as I am writing this blog today.  I am losing weight and finally going to overcome this addiction I have with food for a few reasons:
  1. To glorify God. I love serving Him and I know I can do so much more for His Kingdom if I am healthy.
 2.  To be healthy for me and my family - I want to see Sydney grow and have children herself and I want to grow old with Justin,
 3.  To honor my dad.  I wish he would have lost the weight and took better care of himself while he was alive - so I am going to do it for the both of us. I am determined to be pain free in my knees, hips and back that was due to my over-weight.  Pain free is something my Dad hasn't felt for years.  I will feel it for the both of us. 

I know my Dad is in heaven with his new body - dancing, running and completely pain free.  I am so thankful for this.  I too will feel this freedom one day - hopefully while I'm here on earth as I continue on this journey. 

Today I feel inspired by my Dad. 

Until next time, Blessings INDEED~~
Deb

Down another 1.4lbs - totaling "25.2"

O my gosh - O my gosh - That 25lb mark is hit!! Honestly I can't even believe it.  I know this journey I'm on is long from being over - many many more pounds need to be lost - but today I'm celebrating the 25 that is lost and gone forever.

I can't lie - I really struggled this past week.  The temptation to fall back into old eating habits were facing me daily.  Let me go thru some of the struggles of last week:

Thursday - I was pissy - I mean really really pissy. I realize now it was due to the fact that my desires are changing regarding food. I remember when I quit smoking I felt the same way.  I knew I didn't want to smoke anymore - and that angered me to know end.  Like my enjoyment of smoking - I also enjoyed food.  The problem is that I enjoyed it too much.  So now that my desires are changing and I don't so much "want" to eat all the time - well that triggered that old feeling of anger.  It wasn't a fun day - but once I realized why I was so angry and remembering I had the same feeling when I quit smoking - I found hope knowing that this too will pass.  And of course it did.

The weekend eating wasn't too bad.  I watched what I was eating - but still had that inner anger going on - so I probably ate from time to time just for spite - not because I was hungry. 

Then Tuesday happen - WOW.. not a good day.  Work was rough.  I was completely depleted from the happenings of my day.  I felt every negative emotion possible and was DONE.  So... because I could -  I ate "2" bags of lunch size Ranch Doritoes - not 1 - but 2. The first bag I ate right in front of my boss - the second bag I ate secretly - within minutes after the first bag.  I immediately realized that I totally gave into temptation.  I realized I allowed myself to believe the lie that those chips would make me feel better.  Afterwards I felt worse than I did before eating them.  The lie I told myself backfired and I was filled with guilt.  I was disgusted with myself.  Which only made it worse because from that point on for the rest of the day - all I wanted to do was EAT! I had a church meeting that night - its a recovery group for women - I'm attending it as I am doing the study The Lord's Table for the addiction of food/overeating - its called gluttony. On the way to the meeting I wanted to drive to the nearest restaurant and order a feast so badly.  At that moment I felt like an alcoholic or drug addict - wanting my next fix.  I seriously thought I was going insane.  I did end up at the meeting - without stopping at a restaurant.  But I was miserable - didn't want to be there at all.  All I wanted to do was eat.  I was honest with the leaders of what was going on in my head. I'm glad I went and stayed and shared my struggles.  The support of this group is amazing.  Most everyone said "call me next time".  By the time I got home I was so exhausted emotionally it took everything I had to tell Justin what was going on with me and even though I was so exhausted I still wanted to eat right then. I'm thankful he just held me and said he was sorry I was struggling so much.  There was nothing else he could say or do.  I'm glad he didn't try and fix it and just comforted me instead.

So Wednesday I wake up and was very very thankful it was a new day.  BUT.. it was also my weigh in day too.  I was ready for any outcome.  I was just thankful that this new day also brought a new week to start anew to try and get to 25lbs lost.  So when I got the news that I lost the amount I needed to hit that 25lbs I just wanted to cry.  I realized that GOD provided me with His mercy and grace this week.  HE gave me what I needed at that very moment.  I read this morning in my daily readings ""David continued to succeed in everything he did, for the Lord was with him" (1 Solomon 18:14).  I feel like David today.  I'm thankful the Lord is with me, guiding me, showing me new ways, and giving me grace when HE knows I need it.

Well - I'm off to another week.  Looking up and feeling good.  Realizing this struggle is long over. Acknowledging that the weight loss and mind set Ive had for years will not just change over night - its a process - a journey that I'm glad to be on today. 

Until next time my friends,
Blessings INDEED,
Deb

If hunger isn't the problem - the food shouldn't be the answer!!

If I could just get this thru my thick skull!! This picture made me laugh when I saw it on Facebook.  It truly is my problem indeed! Sometimes its just easier to laugh at yourself than allow the truth to bring you down. 

On a positive note... another 1.2 lbs is gone FOREVER!! Totaling 23.8.  That 25 mark is soo close.  I'm trying hard not to think about it - but my human nature wants that 25 badly.  I know I will get there and beyond for that matter... there is no question about that.  I just want it NOW.  What is it about that feeling of NOW that just totally drives me crazy.  It's something I want to focus on this week.  Because I know if I allow myself I could start to self-sabbotage this week - just so I can say I know why I didn't hit that 25 mark next week. That fear of not hitting it NEXT WEEK could drive me to "eat" stupidly.  Funny, because you hear people say all the time "that/they could drive me to drink" - truly my device of addiction is food/over-eating, eating when I'm not hungry, eating when I'm bored, alone, happy, sad, stressed, angry... I don't discriminate my feelings - I eat because I like food - its my comfort, my security blanket.  Confession: Last night I came home from bible study and I ate another dinner - not because I was hungry - but because I told myself the dinner I ate wasn't enough to sustain me for the day.  I totally believed the lie.  I wasn't even hungry!! This morning I have an attitude - and totally blamed it on my daughter (who is 9 and who probably deserved my attitude a little due to her attitude).  But as I prayed with a friend after dropping Sydney off to school - it was very clear where my frustrations were.  Yes, Sydney frustrated me this morning - BUT.. I also acknowledge that I was frustrated with myself - because I allowed gluttony to overrule me last night AGAIN!! Did I over eat - NO!! But did I eat because I was hungry - No.  Did I eat to be prideful - because I could - ABSOLUTELY.  Please don't think I'm beating myself up -  I am simply taking responsibility.  I am seeing how easy I could go back to my old habits.  I see how my brain works and convinces myself its my right to eat what I want.  I was being a bratty little child last night - just like Sydney this morning - hmmm.. wonder where she gets it from.  OUCH!! Harsh - maybe... but truthful all the same. 

So from this point forward - I'm putting on my big girl panties and acting my age.  I am not 9 - I need to be an adult.  Make adult decisions.  Turn 180 degrees from food - and face GOD completely.  I think I need to put this on a post it note and post it all over the place. 

GOD is good.  I love how HE is reaching me thru this journey.  So thankful HE is faithful and loves me enough!!

Well - I think this is it for me today... Until next time...
Blessings INDEED,
Deb

Down 1.8 / Totalling 22.6 - YEA!!!!!

So yesterday I realized a few things:

1-The pants that I wear every weigh in (Wednesdays) are now much looser than they've been for years.  I will eventually have to switch up my weigh in pants because the ones I were now will be too big eventually - - HOW COOL IS THAT!!

2-That for some reason the number 22.6 really excites me.  What is it about that number?  I'm not sure - but I can say that I really happy about it.  Maybe because 25 is surely around the corner. Makes 30, then 35 and so forth not so far away!!

3-Combining WW (which is helping me physically) and The Lord's Table (which helping me mentally) is really the key to finally being rid of this ongoing issue I have with food and overeating. Ive gone thru a lot of different emotions this week. Ive been excited because thru the grace of God a week worth of complete control over food was accomplished. I've been angry and irritable because I realize just how much I idolize food and how much it consumes my every thought and life.  Ive felt amazement because I didn't die on the day I choose to drink 2 of my 3 meals.  I didn't think I could do it.  I didn't think I could go with breakfast and lunch with only drinking my food.  I did drink lots of V8 juice and WW shakes and soup.  It was HUGE for me.  I realized this process is not about losing weight - its about controlling the need for food to satisfy me (beyond my needs). This study is digging deep into some issues Ive had most of my life regarding food.  I'm felt thankful that some day - in the near future - food and overeating wont hold such a bondage over me.

I got on my knees this week - asking for forgiveness for my past attempts and failures regarding weight management.  I realized this week that in the past I was doing it for all the wrong reasons.  Specifically - self gratification. Look at me - Look what "I" did.   Then when I failed I hid alone and ate and ate and ate - trying to fulfill that emptiness of failure.  Many tears have fallen this week thru this journey.  But I can say a lot of those tears were joyful ones.  Joyful because (1) I feel better (2) I am continuing to lose weight (3) I am turning 180 degrees away from this addiction of food/overeating and facing GOD - confidently asking Him to release me of this desire to fulfill my needs with food.

All and all - this week was a good week!! I'm thankful, humbled and encouraged all at the same time.

Until next time... Blessings INDEED~~
Deb

Another 2 lbs - GONE!!

So yesterdays weigh-in was GREAT.  Another 2lbs gone. A total of 20.8lbs!!

I owe a great deal of success to WW and its program.  I know it works for me - and I know I need to stick with this program to continue with success. BUT....

There's always a "BUTT" huh?  I've also started something else.  I've started doing an individual bible study - called The Lords Table. Its a biblical approach to weight management.  It's a 60 day study - today I finished day 10.  This is more based on "why" I over-eat - and finally getting control of this once and for all. Now for those of you read this and say "there she goes - talking about GOD - throwing her religion around" - Stop.  Please know this is not for you - but for me.  This is MY journey.  You can choose to not read this blog - and I wont get insulted.  I write this blog to give some hope as I travel this road of weight loss/management.  I hope you will continue with me on this journey - I have no idea where it will go - or what it looks like in 60 days - the one thing I know for sure - there will be less of me!!

So as I do WW - and work on the physical aspect of losing weight, I am also venturing into whats going on in my head as well.  I know - it sounds scary huh?  Trust me its more scary to me than to any of you reading this. 

But I can already say that I am fully ready to get to the bottom of this situation. Scary as it may be - I am ready to give this up and finally be free from this bondage of food and over-eating.

Today I am excited, hopeful, scared to death - yet ready to journey down this road.  A road so different than the past when Ive attempted weight loss.  In a sense - I'm giving it up - trusting GOD and GOD alone to show me where I need to change - continue with my WW for sure - because you don't want to fix whats not broke - but attempting to deal with whats in my head as well.  And finally, hopefully all will be done to Glory God!

Here we go!! Until next time~
Debbie

Funny Story....

So I've had an "off" week this past week so weigh in was sure to be "interesting" to say the least.  I was at a marriage conference all weekend - and tried to make good choices with the food that was available to eat.  Then went to a 50th wedding anniversary party that again I made good choices with what I ate.  But then I got sick.  My walking has literally stopped.  I have had minimal to no exercise in almost 5 days now.  I'm wiped out.  Then add some other "women issues" on top of all this I just figured it was my time for an "up" week in my weight loss. 

So I step on the scale and the clerk says "well, your up 0.4lbs - but she told me to take off my glasses that were on my head and my watch.  I was actually ok with the 0.4lb weight gain, but I did as I was told.  And sure enough - my weight remained the same as last week!! Can you just imagine how happy I was to hear that!!

So what did I learn this week??
(1) I did make good choices with my food.  This is probably the main reason why WW works for me.  Its not a diet.  Its a change in my eating habits.  I still eat all the yummy stuff every one else eats - just not as much.  And although some times I choose to say "no" to something yummy - its truly my choice.  I'm in total control.
(2) That yes my walking makes me feel good - its not the end all to my weight loss.  I am really looking forward to getting back to walking though - I miss the way my body feels when I'm done and the energy that comes with it.  And honestly, when I'm walking - I'm usually alone - and I really enjoy that alone time in my thoughts - usually just enjoying all the beauty around me and reminded of all the Blessings I truly am surrounded by.
(3) And finally, that my watch and sun-glasses weigh 0.4lbs.  AMAZING right??  I wonder what else I could take off when I weigh in?!?!?

Ive been home sick for the last few days - but hopeful to be up and getting back to some normalcy sooner than later. 

Until next time...
Deb

I CANT EVEN BELIEVE IT~~

Thursday, February 21, 2013

So there I was - waiting in line to get weighed in.  I so wanted to just say forget it and just go sit down to hear my weekly WW meeting.  It was my turn.  I took of my sweater - then my shoes - and anything else I think could help with that moment of truth. The lady who took my information asked how I was - my reply was "I'll be glad when this moment is over - I'm not looking forward to the results".  She asked me why I was so distraught over the outcome - I confessed Id eaten my way thru my birthday weekend - with drinks to add to it, and cake and and and.... Anyway, I said "whatever it is - it was my birthday present to me" - with sarcasm of course.

I couldn't believe my ears - I was down 1 lb. Totaling 18.8 lbs all together. I'm not sure how it happen but it did.. I have proof - its in my book - in the system.

I met with my WW leader after the meeting - inquiring of what my goal weight should be.  The number she told me was insane to me.  She immediately knew that my head was spinning with the number she gave me and I was immediately deflated - forgetting all about the success of this past week. She literally told me to "stop".  I'm letting this "number" get in my head. She asked me what I thought my ideal weight was and I immediately thought about when I got married.     I was the most healthiest at that moment and looked my best (as an adult).  I was hoping that would be close to my "ideal" weight - per my BMI. It isn't.  My WW Leader spoke to me in some great length - I could tell she was trying to stop my head from rolling - inflate me back up - not let this number be my downfall to success.  She told me that once I get to the weight I was at my wedding to go see my doctor.  To get a second opinion.  If my doctor says that is a good weight for me I could bring in a note from him and it could be my "goal" weight.  But I have to get a doctors note.  Anyway, I left the meeting - still in shock of this number she gave me.

I was talking to a friend about it when I got home and as I was telling her "the number" and what number I thought it should be (from when I got married). She agreed I looked my best at my wedding.  Then I  looked at a wedding picture of Justin and I.  Yes - I looked and felt the best I ever had as an adult.  But could I have stood to loose more?  After really looking at the picture - yes I could.  I wasn't thin - nor do I want to be - but I do want to be healthy. Just because I was thinner than I ever had been (as an adult) doesn't mean its a healthy weight. I still don't think the number my WW leader gave me was too low for me - but I do think I can be less than my wedding day weight! That's progress~~

Looks like I have a long way to go - but I'm going to do this!! Not sure how long it will take me - but "I'M" worth it all the same.

Until next time...
Deb

Worried...BIG TIME!!

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

So today I weigh in for my weekly weigh in.  After a weekend of Birthday celebration and very minimal walking this past week I am afraid I have gained.  There is a huge part of me that just wants to not weigh-in at all this week - try again next week.  But I acknowledge that this is part of my problem.  When things get tough - I'm ready to bail out - make any excuses possible not to fulfill my obligation. I am going to do things different this time.  I'm not bailing because I'm convinced I'm going to have a bad week. I'm going to face my own consequences for my own actions.  It's tough growing up.

Another downfall this past week is that my heal on my right foot is hurting very bad.  Which is making it more difficult to get up and walk.  I was up to 3 miles a day, but now due to the pain my heal I'm lucking if I get 1 mile accomplished.  I did some research and it seems like I may have a spur or maybe a Plantar Fasciitis  (total self diagnoses based on my own research). I'm sure walking on concrete and asfault isn't helping.  The old me would just say forget it - just stop walking - not worth that pain.  I knew I was heading in that direction so I did some more research and found some walking/workout videos on line - that were free!! I found one that does 2 miles in 30 minutes and I can be at home - off concrete and in my living room.  I did the first half yesterday and my foot doesn't hurt.  Today I'm going to try the full 30 minutes and see how my foot handles that. This is HUGE progress for me.  I'm also hopeful I will be amping up my activity by "Just Dancing" with my dear friend Cherie - who is now a neighbor. 

So today I will go weigh in - with my tail between my legs - BUT will the mindset that last week has past and this is a brand new week.  Whatever I gained I will loose.  I will not beat myself up. One bad week is not the end of the line.  I CAN DO THIS!! I WILL DO THIS!!

I'll check back later with my results - Until then...
Deb

Monday Monday....

Monday, February 18, 2013.

Today is President's day - although I am working.  But that's ok, because I feel like when I'm at work I eat less.  Especially after this weekend of Birthday celebrations.  I am so not looking forward to weigh in on Wednesday! I've eaten Mexican Food (with drinks), Ziti Pasta, Cupcakes, Brisket, cake... and a whole lot more in the last 3 days.  I bought some Artichokes (which I love) and plan on eating that for the next 2 nights for dinner.  I've eaten up every one of my activity points as well as a few of my extra points given to us every week.  I wouldn't be surprised if I gain 2-5 lbs this week.  Uhg... I just have to buck it up and chalk it off as my Bday gift to myself.  Joy Joy Joy!!

On a positive note.  I finally read this blog to Justin - He liked it. Said I should share it because its funny - yet honest.  Hence why all of a sudden this shows up on my Facebook.

Ok all... hope you have a great Monday - Hope you see less of me next time!!

Deb

TODAY is the Day!!

Friday, February 15, 2013

Well today I turned 44.  I was down 1.2 lbs this week and totaling 17.8lbs. I'm very happy with this.  I posted a picture on Facebook today saying "I'm 44 and down 17.8lbs" with a picture of me today.  I haven't really told many people I'm back on WW - didn't want the constant pressure of questions and such.  Although many people have already noticed the change in my physical appearance - which has been great!!

Someone told me I should just say I lost 18lbs... but I decided not to - because I haven't YET.. but I will.  And when I do - I'll post it - TRUST ME!!

I feel like its time for a disclosure - For the record - I'm not trying to get skinny.  I am trying to be healthy.  Before I got back on WW I hurt all the time.  My back every morning made me feel like I was 100 years old.  My hips were starting to hurt and finally my knees ached badly.  My family is known for having knee replacements and hip replacements and  I knew I was on that road to the same.  That fear alone got me back on WW.  So far my back pain has pretty much gone away, my hips don't hurt at all and my knees are about 85% better than 17lbs ago.

So today I'm celebrating another year - the blessings that come with
that - my family, friends and the fact that there is "less of me" this
year than last.  And the promise to myself there will be less of me next
year than this year.

Someone told me to "go forth and be fabulous" - Sounds like a GREAT plan to me.
Until next time,
Deb~~

This is the week!!

Monday, February 11, 2013

Well this is the week (I turn 44)  - I will make my announcement that I am on WW and have lost an "x" amount of weight since the end of December. This past weekend I messed up - and I can only hope it wont be devastating when I weigh in on Wednesday.  I'm fasting today - only eating fruits and vegetables... I'm doing it with a group of ladies from my church - because there is a Women's Recovery Group about to start up next week and we are fasting and praying together today.  So I'm fasting first of all for the ministry - but it helps that I need to do this for my big announcement this week as well.. Seems like a win win.. :)

Anyway.. just wanted to check in and wish everyone a GREAT week this week.  We are all in this together - like my WW leader always says - See less of you next time!!!
Blessings INDEED,
Debbie

Surprise Surprise~~

February 8, 2013
Well I weighed in on Wednesday - not really looking forward to it due to my many mistakes in the past week (Superbowl and just life) - I almost didn't weigh in this week - but I decided that regardless of the number - I knew the reasons why it would have gone up. 
So I stepped on scale and Surprise Surprise!! I'm down 2.6lbs.  Once again I thought the Clerk was wrong with the number - but when I got home and checked the website - I was thrilled to see it wasn't a mistake.
So what happen - - I can say Ive stepped up my walking this past week.  Over the weekend I just started walking around my neighborhood and actually got lost and ended up walking almost 2 miles. Ive been walking around my work complex at least 2x a day if not more - and then walk when I get home for another mile.  Its not much - but since I was literally doing NOTHING as far as activity 4 weeks ago - Im assuming this is why I have lost those 2.6lbs.
I also (per my WW Leader's suggestion) switched my settings to use my activity points 1st before using my extra 49 points we get each week - this was helpful because I literally walk to earn those extra points if I am going out.  It literally gives me control of what points I am eating. 
So next week is my birthday - Im excited about announcing that Im back on WW and how much weight total Ive lost.  So far 16.6.. but I weigh in next Wednesday and that will be the number I announce with.
Wish me luck.. until next time,
Deb

Thankful for a new day...

February 4, 2013
 
Well yesterday I over-indulged for Super Bowl.  The big difference is that today I don't feel guilty about it.  I know I am on the right track.  One day of getting off track wont steer me away from my ultimate goal.  Today I am going to take an extra walk - and track all my points - and feel free knowing that Today is a Brand New Day!! Looking onward - saying good bye to yesterday with a smile - and thankful for my new outlook on getting healthy!!

Achieved my 1st 5% Goal

January 31, 2013

Yesterdays weigh-in was minimal but a good one all the say.  I lost 0.8 of a pound.  I was hoping for a little more - because honestly I worked hard this past week.  But one of the things I have to remember is that every 4 weeks I have a minimal or no result or sometimes even negative result week.  As a woman - there is absolutely nothing I can do about it either!! BUT on the positive side of week 4 - I did achieve my 5% goal.  I was updating my next goal and was about to but some insane number down and decided to do what WW recommended - another 5% goal - which will total 10% weight loss when I reach it. In my meeting yesterday our leader mentioned to set realistic goals.  Like don't assume you will loose 2-4 lbs ever week.  Instead set a goal at losing 0.5 every week.  Then if you go above that number you can be happy - even celebrate a little.  I liked that.  0.5 seems pretty realistic - and a reachable weekly goal. I'm secretly hoping to loose more than that a week - but this way I can stay positive on a weekly basis. 

I'm still walking every day and really enjoying it.  Last night I was speaking at an event and someone came up to me and said my body is changing - that they could see a difference.  I hope I spoke as good as I felt after hearing that!!
Until next time...

Exercise has never been my friend ...

Well Ive been wearing this ActiveLink for almost 3 weeks now and I can say that I am WAY more active than I have been in years.  Making sure I reach my goal to see the lights all light up at the end of the day gives me complete excitement (I know I know - it really doesn't take much to make me happy).  I imagine when all the lights light up its people clapping and hooraying me... after putting that in writing i see just how crazy that sounds.  But hey - thats me!! Anyway.  I work full time so finding time to just walk was always my excuse of why I cant walk on a regular basis.  I work in a pretty big complex so I decided to walk around it once to see how long it was and it turned out to be a half a mile - and only took @10 minutes to accomplish.  So I decided to take my breaks walking - 2x a day - thats equals a mile every day!! There you go!! I even have my boss walking with me for the 2nd walk.  So the funny thing is today I was walking and thinking of how I can ramp-up my activity (I cant even believe "I" am thinking this way).  My office building is a two story building - both floors have bathrooms.  I work on the 1st floor and I thought starting next week I am going to walk upstairs to go the bathroom - EVERY TIME.  We'll see.  I also live in a 2 story place and thought I could do it there too.  It's baby steps - but the fact I'm even thinking about this is a HUGE accomplishment in itself.  Anyway.. just thought I'd share!!
Hope everyone has a fantastic weekend!!

I cant believe I lost 2lbs tihs week...

Well today was my weigh in - I slowly crept up on the scale and told the lady at the counter that I wasn't looking forward to today's results.She asked why and I explained that for the past 3 days Ive been celebrating my daughters 9th birthday - which consisted of cake, cupcakes, shrimp alfredo and pasta, fried chicken, and a bunch of other non-point friendly foods.  I told her I was ready for any result that came up.  She asked me what I thought I had gained or lost... I said for sure gained - maybe 1 or 2 lbs if I were lucky.  I figured I was wishful thinking.  When she asked if Id be surprised to hear that I LOST 2 lbs would I be shocked.  Surely she was kidding I thought.  She must have not read that number right.  The only thing I can think is that I continued to walk 1 mile every day - regardless of what I ate.  There is  no other explanation. 
So yes today I am truly thankful... I'm down 13.2 lbs ... and feeling confident that I can actually accomplish this goal of being healthy again!!

Until next time...

Sydney's 9th Bday

January 22, 2013

Well this past weekend was filled with celebration for my 9 year old daughter.  And you can only guess what that meant - days without truly being able to count my points accurately.  I estimated I ate about 65 points on Saturday alone (which was truly a guess because I ate out at every meal). Sunday wasn't so bad because we were home re-cooperating from Saturday's events (American Girl, Farrells and a sleep over).  But last night we had her official birthday dinner - which she requested my famous shrimp alfredo (not very point friendly to say the least).  But what I did was make a huge salad as well and instead of pasta I put the shrimp and sausage on my salad (I drained the sauce the best I could but leaving just enough to still taste the yummy-ness). So then I felt it was ok to eat the whole cupcake (instead of the half I intended).  Well today is Tuesday - a brand new day - and I'm back on track.  Tomorrow is weigh in  - kinda scared of those results.  At least I can say Ive kept up my walking to a mile a day.  So maybe those activity points will help this week!! One can only pray!!
Until next time....  

Never Blogged before - thought I give it a try...

January 18, 2013
Well here I go again... I can say this isn't my first rodeo with WW - but I am a previous success story all the same.  When I get married 10+ years ago I lost 30+ lbs before my wedding - felt better than Ive ever felt in my life. 
I wish I could say that 10+ years later I now have baby fat to lose.  But my "baby" is turning 9 on Monday so I really cant use her as an excuse anymore. 
So what motivated me this time to lose again?  These aches and pains in my back and knees and lack of energy.  And honestly I can no longer stand to look at pictures of myself. 
So here I go again.  I started end of December (before January because I didn't want to say this was my New Years Resolution).  I haven't told many people this time around.  Which is unusual for me - I usually demand everyone around me to keep me accountable.  But this time I'm trying something different.  I'm telling those close around me - because they will wonder why I'm watching what I'm eating. But I decided to make my BIG announcement on Feb 15th.. my 44th Birthday.  Hopefully people will see the difference by then.  I'm already down 11.2lbs as of Wednesday. 
Well that's all for now.  I'll check back in soon!!
Until then, Blessings INDEED,
Deb